I know that you are a victim of shyness. That’s why you want to develop confidence.
I was also feeling the same pain that you are feeling now. In this post, I will share my experience on how I overcame my shyness and developed confidence in myself.
I remember my childhood very well. I was a shy kid from the beginning. My shyness kept me away from many opportunities. Few of them are;
• I Didn’t Have Any Girlfriend.
• I Couldn’t Say No To Anyone.
• I Have Very Few Friends.
• I Couldn’t Enjoy My Life Fully.
• I Use To Feel Anxious With Strangers.
• No Self-Belief.
And many more.., seriously shyness keeps you away from many opportunities. I remember that I couldn’t even ask a question from my class teacher in front of everyone. If you are a mirror image of me, then don’t worry.
You can overcome this situation and develop confidence.
Yes, you can. No one is born with confidence. They develop it with time and their surroundings. Surroundings like their parents, relatives, teachers, and friends.
I will tell you all the steps which I took in my past to develop confidence.
I am not saying that I know everything about confidence, but I know a little bit because of my experience. I will share what I know 🙂
Here Are Some Tips That Can Help You To Develop Confidence.
1. Say Goodbye To Your Comfort Zone.
“You never change your life until you step out of your comfort zone; change begins at the end of your comfort zone.”―
You may have heard the word “comfort zone”. But do you know why everyone tells you to step out of your comfort zone?
One of the biggest reasons for the lack of confidence is self-limiting beliefs. These limitations are deeply emerging in our brains.
That’s why our brains limit us to do something new or something uncomfortable.
The brain loves to be in the comfort zone. It would always try to keep you away from fear, stress, and anxiety. But you can’t enjoy your life fully without overcoming your fears.
Read my story for a better understanding.
I use to be very afraid of public gathering. I use to feel shy in front of strangers. With some research, I found that, if you want to overcome shyness, you have to do uncomfortable things.
In college, I took the responsibility of myself and I went to speak in a public speaking contest.
Even when, not even a single friend of mine dared to attempt that contest.
My hands, legs were shivering badly. I could easily hear my heartbeat but still, I did it. The end results completely removed my fear. I got 3rd place out of 31 people.
No one was there for me. My friends were also laughing at me before the contest but something happens after the contest. Now I was laughing at them.
Think deeply and write down your 10 fears. It can be anything like communication with a complete stranger, giving a public speech, saying no to someone, and approaching your crush for a date.
After writing down, prioritize them.
Now the most important step, start doing that work. Take the easy one first, which would be not that hard for you, like saying no to someone. You can move slowly but continue to move is important.
One thing that you have to keep in mind is that, be very honest with you. If you take this for granted then you will never be able to be confident. And you will remain the same as before. And the best part is that no one cares.
Not your friends, your family, your relatives. No one. So please be honest with you and start overcoming your fears. Be brave, swallow the negative feelings, and do it anyway.
Even your crush says no to you, but you should be happy for overcoming your fear of approaching him/her.
2. Take Rejection Challenge.
Most shy people always fear rejection. They don’t want to be rejected. But if you want to build confidence, you have to face the rejections. You have to learn that, you can’t control every situation.
It happens with all people. It happens with athletes who work hard every single day. And still, they couldn’t win. But they try again. Because they knew the fact that they couldn’t control the situation.
But you can control your actions. Life is not easy. Life does not wait for anyone.
Like I said before, your brain doesn’t want to be in uncomfortable situations. That’s why it is keeping you away from any type of rejection.
Jia Jiang did a 100-day rejection challenge because he is afraid of rejections too. And he also filmed himself every day while doing that challenge.
You can also view that from his website Rejection Therapy.
3. Improve, Improve, Improve!
Self-doubt is one of low confidence. In this situation, a person doubts himself/herself. He/she thinks that they are not beautiful, brave, and worthy of doing something.
If you want to tackle this situation then start respecting yourself.
You are a human being, which is the most advanced species on this planet. Your brain is a very powerful weapon.
It has billions of cells, which can remember many things
I use to practice affirmations in this condition. Start saying “I Am Awesome”, “I Can Do Anything” to yourself.
With this try to improve your dressing sense, start lifting weights. Try to learn new things, all these steps will help you to start respecting yourself.
Continue to do this and you will see that people start taking interest in you.
4. Find Your Dreams.
Sometimes the biggest confidence killer is not knowing where you want to go in your life. So start imagining your future. Imagine all of the things like your lifestyle, your cars, your home, business, etc.
And then write them down on paper. It is not a hidden fact that very few people write their goals on paper. Writing your goals increases the chance of achieving them and they also help to be accountable.
So please write down all of your goals and the things, that you might have to do to achieve them. Then strive to achieve them.
If you are able to achieve your most ambitious goal then your confidence will automatically boost up.
5. Stop Giving A F#ck About Others Opinion.
I have learned in my life that if you want to live your life happily, you should never compare yourself to others. And never care about others’ opinions. The same scenario applies in this case if you want to build confidence.
Stop caring about other’s opinions. If someone tries to limit you by their opinion then work hard and prove them wrong.
It really doesn’t matter what they think. Most of the people never even try to do something that they really want to do.
All because of other people’s opinions. And their biggest regret would be that they don’t even try.
Don’t compare yourself with others. Because everyone is unique in their own way.
6. Read Books.
They say that when you are lacking something, learn so much about it so that it becomes your strength. That’s why if you have low confidence, start reading about confidence.
Try to learn from books because I don’t think that there is any other good option rather than learning from books.
Self-help books are designed to help the needy people. Don’t run from them, they are not the regular school books. They are the real gems.
Read on Confidence, Shyness & Anxiety, Anger, Mind & Habits. All of the data will definitely help you in the long run.
Few Books From My Side;
- Daring Greatly by Brené Brown.
- How the Mind Works by Steven Pinker.
- The Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg.
- Atomic Habits by James Clear.
7. Change Your Mentality.
One of the biggest obstacles that shy people have is, they don’t want to change. People have set their limits and they don’t even want to change or exceed their limits.
You don’t need to believe them. Instead, try to find opportunities to do something that you are most scared of. You need to be friends with your fears.
There’s no bravery in living your life like a coward. You should always face your fears with courage. Once you start doing it, your fear will start diminishing and your confidence levels will start boosting.
Make friends that challenge how you think. Because they will help you to rewire your brain & exceed your limits. Observe confident & positive people closely. See how to talk, how they meet, how they speak.
And then tries to do the same. This will give your confidence a temporary boost.
8. Sharpen Your Body Language.
Body language plays a significant role in communication. If you want to feel confident in public, you must improve your body language.
Body language is the non-verbal language but it has more impact than any type of verbal communication.
For example, how would you feel if you are telling something to your partner and his/her body language is showing that he/she hasn’t any interest in your talk.
Even if they say they are listening but you can easily find out that they are not interested.
Now you know why body language is a very significant part of our personality.
The most beautiful part of body language is that it boosts your confidence. It doesn’t matter if you are speaking in front of one person or 1000 people.
Your confidence depends upon your body language. That’s why you need to sharpen your body language.
You must be thinking that what’s the relation between meditation and confidence. I am saying this from my experience that meditation helps to boost confidence. Because it boosts mine.
Meditation helps you to dig deep in yourself and find the answers that you want (Only if you practice it regularly).
When you know your roots well, no one can question you or break you. It automatically increases your confidence.
10. Stop Masturbating.
According to our modern science, masturbation is safe(If done in moderation) and it doesn’t have any other effect on us.
But the ancient Indian Ayurveda says that you should not masturbate(even in moderation).
Our Sperm is an essential fluid of our body and it should not be removed from the body. If I talk about myself then, At first I used to think that Ayurveda is wrong.
They didn’t know anything and our modern science is great.
But with time I found that it was just an excuse my brain was giving me to continue masturbation. We all knew that because of masturbation, our brain releases a fluid called dopamine.
Now slowly and steadily modern science is saying that dopamine should not be released very often. Because it’s a precious fluid. If we continue to masturbate, the hunger of dopamine would kill us.
After doing many sessions of meditation, I stopped thinking about masturbation myself. And trust me it helps a lot. If you stop masturbation for 6 months to 1 year, you will feel the change yourself.
These are some changes that I felt after quitting masturbation;
1. My Voice Becomes More Manly.
2. My Confidence Increased.
3. My Thinking Pattern Changed.
4. I Started Making More Friends.
5. My Overall Body Growth Improved.
6. My Concentration Power Has Improved.
7. My Focus On My Future And Goals Improved.
8. My Eyesight Improved or My Beard Started To Grow Faster Than Before.
9. Overall Happiness Levels Increased.
10. I Stopped Being Lazy In My Life.
It’s clear that quitting masturbation helps to boost confidence but it has many other significant benefits also.
These are my experiences that I got after quitting masturbation. Now it’s upon you that you want to quit it or continues to dwell in it.
That’s it, these are the 10 steps that I took to build confidence. There is a ton of information and techniques on the internet about how to overcome shyness and be confident.
But they will not work unless you start working. Please don’t sit at home after reading these steps. Implement them in your life.
Good Luck 🙂